In this issue of Emotional Health, regular contributor LEIGH SMITH invites us to disarm, call a cease fire on our emotional battles, and take back control!
HAVE you ever stopped to consider how much control we actually have over our emotional health? Do you wonder if it is possible to stop anxiety in its tracks, to divert depression and stay calm in stressful situations? Emotions have an important place in our lives and provide us with powerful and meaningful experiences, but sometimes they can overwhelm us and leave us feeling out of control. We can find ourselves so far down the path of overwhelm, so consumed by anxiety, dominated by stress, or rage we no longer feel we are in control of ourselves. These situations can be terrifying and leave us with feelings of guilt, shame and a victim to our emotional states. If we find ourselves in this situation we wonder how we can take back some control, and put ourselves back into the driver’s seat? Firstly we need to realise what’s happening to us. When we become triggered by a situation our brain pumps out signals to deal with the threat at hand and activates our flight/fight responses. This involves flooding us with a whole host of strong emotions which can completely swamp us. We can quickly find ourselves feeling out of control with seemingly no clue how we got here. We may not have noticed it, but on route to our meltdown we did receive warnings, there were signs and signals holding vital information that could have helped us to ‘stay calm and carry on’. These alerts are the key, spotting them and paying attention to them is vital for our emotional wellbeing. But it isn’t easy, it takes time and considerable effort to become aware of these early warning signs. We can be so engulfed by what we are experiencing it can feel impossible to step outside of our feelings and notice what is effecting us. Our emotional regulators can be switched to a powerful default setting which can make us feel resistant to change. So how do we tackle that? We need a way to become more aware and conscious of the indicators telling us we are becoming emotionally ‘triggered’, and we are heading into a battle with all guns blazing! The answer to taking your finger off the trigger might lie in retracing your steps backwards from the point where you lost the fight to stay in control! Begin by taking a moment to imagine the last time you found yourself in a major panic, or emotional outburst, and start to see yourself as if watching yourself on a screen, then ask yourself: l where were you? l what was going on around you? l how were you behaving? l what were you feeling? Then slowly play the film backwards retracing and remembering what you felt just prior to the event, what did you experience, examine your body’s reactions, was there any tension, clenched fists, dizziness, confusion, changes in breathing, quickening of your pulse? You might notice some of these reactions taking place in your body again, right now, as you remember the event. The first step to understanding and dealing with emotional triggers is to simply notice them. If you are able to become aware of these sensations, you can use them as your early warning signs. You can learn to spot all is not well, and some action needs to be taken to avoid sliding into an emotionally charged state. Consciousness is the key and this ‘self awareness’ will give you choices and allow you to make changes and be in control. As self-awareness grows, you will become able to notice these signs as they occur. You will spot the clenching of your fists, the quickening of your breath and will recognise you are becoming triggered, and are starting to lose emotional control. You will recognise the dizzy feeling is a sign to STOP, to listen and pay attention to what is going on. Time to holster your emotional guns, with safety catches on, take some deep breaths, and take a step back from whatever is triggering you.