feelings of worry – headlines seem to have a knack of giving us the worst possible case scenario. Limiting the amount of time we spend watching the news and on social media can help keep an objective mind, and focus on the ‘here and now’ rather than the ‘what ifs’. Another way to help ourselves de-stress is by trying to keep a clear home, getting a good night’s sleep, exercise (just getting outside can make the world of difference) and indulging in something that makes us happy, but most importantly we will realise that we are not alone, if we are able to talk to one another and share our concerns. There are services available for those who are struggling, including ‘Every Mind Matters’, an NHS resource full of ways to look after your mental health and wellbeing. We saw an overwhelming and heart-warming resilience across communities throughout the pandemic. If we are able to use the same strength and resolve, to face the next challenges together, I’m sure many will find comfort and strength. Heartwood extends its heartfelt condolences to the Royal Family, the country and beyond on the passing of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, who was such a constant in our lives and a figure of strength during many difficult times. WELLBEING *Source: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/ hundreds-of-thousands-of-students-set-to-receive-exam-results

Heartwood Centre for Counselling and
Psychotherapy Training are based at
Dartington Space, Dartington Hall, Totnes.
Visit www.heartwoodcounselling.org or call
01803 865464.

The post Talking Heartwood: Be in the moment this autumn appeared first on Reconnect Magazine.

SOME people avoid speaking of their distress, not only to counsellors but to family, friends and partners because they worry that in speaking of their hurt, they will get caught up in it, make it worse and not be able to find a way out. That makes some real sense and attempting to keep the bad stuff in a box is a perfectly coherent response. Who genuinely wants to dig it all out and look at it when there are more fun things to do?
When I work therapeutically with people, it’s quite common for people to report a fear of letting go of all the tears inside them, for fear that they will never stop crying. I get this too.
These fears of getting ‘stuck’ in a particular place no doubt touch us all at different times and it’s important to weigh up the costs and benefits each time of remaining in this uncomfortable but ‘known’ place or shifting to a place of not knowing…
It’s something we Tutors at Heartwood College see often within student groups we teach. The difference being that undertaking study in counselling really necessitates a willingness and ability to move into ‘not knowing’ at times.
Counselling is an unusual subject (and art) to teach and to learn. Of course, particularly on our Integrative Diploma course, there is plenty of learning about theory, models, techniques, perspectives etc. Plenty of content which is stimulating and necessary and satisfying and provides a solid framework for counselling practice. And it is this content that can be learned and tangibly ‘known’ by students.
What cannot be taught in the formal sense of the word, but can be signposted, encouraged, nudged, directed and modelled, is the process of counselling.
The first part of this is supporting students to get to know themselves better, to be bold enough to rummage around inside and get to grips with their own issues/fears/defences/habitual ways of being and so on. Some of this happens in the classroom setting and some through the mandatory personal therapy they are required to undergo.
The second part of learning about process, about how to be a counsellor, is to let go of needing to know everything, to dispense with figuring out precisely what intervention to do, when. It is to let go of any idea of what a counsellor should say and do and to fully embrace who a counsellor is. Not doing. But being.
Real magic can happen when trainee counsellors build up and integrate these three parts; knowledge, self-knowledge and willingness to be fully present. And of course, the training programme is tough at times because all these things separately are challenging, let alone the integration part. Good job that learning to be a good counsellor is a lifetime’s work!

Heartwood Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy Training are based at Dartington Space, Dartington Hall, Totnes.
Visit www.heartwoodcounselling.org or call 01803 865464.

The post Talking Heartwood: The unknown appeared first on Reconnect Magazine.

STAYING connected online through various social media platforms is now an everyday part of our lives. It is a great way to stay in touch with family and friends, find new friends, network with others and promote businesses and worthwhile causes – and as most of us have a Smartphone, it has never been easier.

There are also more negative undertones surrounding our no holds barred access to people’s everyday lives. It can promote feelings of inadequacy – often, what we view on social media is not a true representation of real life and images can be easily edited and manipulated to appear “perfect”. Although most of us are aware of this, it doesn’t always dampen the feeling of dissatisfaction at our own lot.

Another prevalent online issue is cyber bullying and unfortunately most young people will see or experience this at some time – a recent survey by BullyingUK found that 56% of young people said they have seen others being bullied online. We have seen the tragic consequences this can carry on the news and the heartbreak it leaves in its wake.

e need face-to-face contact to support our mental health and well being, this kind of interaction with someone close to us is mood boosting and substituting this important socialising with an online quick fix can worsen mood disorders such as anxiety and depression.

It seems ironic, then, that we are also using our Smartphones to access support – there is thought to be more than 10,000 mental health-related apps available. Such is the popularity of these apps and their perceived ability to help those suffering from mental health issues, the NHS now has its own ‘Apps Library’, where users can find ‘digital tools to help you manage and improve your health’ under a number of categories, including improving mental health. The NHS assesses apps and only publishes details of those it considers to be safe and secure.

According to statistics cited by the charity Mental Health Foundation, in England, early interventions and home treatment for mental health problems can reduce hospital admissions, shorten hospital stays and require fewer high-cost intensive interventions.

Many apps and online self-help courses promote or incorporate ‘mindfulness’ or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques. However, recent research highlights that we should be wary of the apps we come across, as ‘although many are highly rated by users, few are evidence-based’.

Campaigns combating taboo
The number of campaigns by charities and organisations gives us some clue as to the relatively recent rise of people from all walks of life and backgrounds sharing their experiences of battling mental ill-health.

Recent examples include LADBible Group and MIND’s re-launched ‘UOKM8?’ campaign. This awardwinning drive was originally launched in 2016 to raise mass awareness and destigmatise mental health. It was said to have reached over 35-million people.

A spokesperson for the LADBible Group said their initial focus was ‘to change the behaviour of those who do not feel comfortable talking about their mental health’ – with content for the campaign going out across social media channels.

A separate campaign, Time to Change, has been described as ‘England’s most ambitious campaign’. It launched more than a decade ago to reduce mental health stigma and discrimination.

The campaign’s research in the past has found mental health remains ‘one of the last taboos in the workplace’ – with Brits rather talking with colleagues about relationship issues, money problems and even sex, than mental health. Time to Change urges people to ‘ask twice’, as it found 78% of us would tell friends and family we are ‘fine’, even if struggling with a mental health problem.

ITV have recently launched a new campaign – “Britain Get Talking’ to try and encourage people to open up and emphasise the importance of talking, and to shine a light on the benefits of having conversations about our mental health with those close to us.

Easily accessible apps and initiatives could be seen as welcome solutions in the ongoing battle of the taboo surrounding mental health, and while there is little evidence surrounding the use of apps, if users are feeling better after accessing these, then surely we can agree there is some merit in them purely based on that fact alone. Many of us have had to substitute face-to-face counselling with phone calls and online meetings out of necessity during the ongoing COVID restrictions. Are online services to be a prominent fixture in our lives and can they be a suitable replacement for face-toface therapy?

Sources:
www.jmir.org/2018/6/e10120
www.ladbible.com/uokm8
www.time-to-change.org.uk
www.bullying.co.uk/cyberbullying/what-iscyberbullying
www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm
youngminds.org.uk at tinyurl.com/p9ar52h6
www.itv.com/britaingettalking

Heartwood Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy Training are
based at Dartington Space, Dartington Hall, Totnes.
Visit www.heartwoodcounselling.org or call 01803 865464.

The post Talking Heartwood: Digital mental health appeared first on Reconnect Magazine.

WE have found ourselves having to adapt on an ever rolling basis of late, for example parent to teacher, and changing our “normal” way of life to take care of others. However you identify, either personally or professionally, we are all helping someone else out. Self care is important as it preserves and improves our mental and physical health – and it’s a decision we should all make consciously. Do something for you because you can’t thrive if you have nothing left for yourself. When you take care of yourself, you are more likely to be able to take better care of your family. The hustle and bustle of our everyday lives has made its way into our home life too, meaning things like work and school stress have crept into what should be our safe haven and comfort zone. This makes self care all the more important for us all. It is vital for functioning, especially during the trying times we have experienced of late, for maintaining optimal health, and for keeping calm, balanced, peaceful, and focused. Understanding what self care looks like for you can be as simple as 5 minutes to breathe and just clear your head, stay in the present, no lists, no jobs to do – just taking a moment. Some people call this awareness “mindfulness”, and we can all take steps to incorporate this practice into our own lives. Here, one of our Heartwood tutors, Emily, shares some steps to achieve a mindfulness moment – techniques she uses with her clients – to help you relax your body and mind and release stress.

1. Notice.
Take notice of what’s on your mind. Throughout the day just pause to notice if you are in this present moment or if you have random thoughts running around your head. For example, I noticed this morning when I was emptying the dishwasher how I go on autopilot and have a whole world of thoughts in my head. But in contrast, when I went outside to SELF care has been pushed to the forefront of everyone’s minds, and if we learned anything in 2020 – it is that we must first take good care of our health and wellbeing in order to care for the people in our lives. A new support group is being set up in Dartmouth with aim of creating a held space where people can come together, feel safe, supported and self-empowered, building hope and wellbeing to face these challenging times of lockdowns and the pandemic. The group who are also seeking a suitable venue to host the safe space will be held in compliance with current Government regulations. The organiser of the new group explained the aim of the group was to provide support adding: “Let’s unite, be there for one another, and keep our spirits up!” She hopes that those who see her advertisement to promote the group, feel inspired and have suggestions and ideas on how to take the support group forward. l Find out more about the new support group and make contact please email LoveLightOne@protonmail.com. Building hope – creating support Looking to set up a SUPPORT GROUP for the Lockdown/ Pandemic and a venue in the DARTMOUTH area, all under Government regulations. Please contact us via email to: LoveLightOne@protonmail.com Many Thanks! my garden, I was in the present moment, just watching the blustery wind blowing the trees around. You might find yourself crafting conversations, drafting emails, planning dinner, organising lesson plans, or worrying about your family members, instead of simply ‘being’ in the present moment.

2. Get curious.
Next, get curious about the impact of those thoughts running around your head. What feelings do those thoughts about the past or future bring up in you? When you’re not really paying attention, what effect does that have on the people around you? Do you experience indigestion because you’re not giving yourself time and space to eat properly? Do you have a headache with all the stressful thoughts in your mind? Do you feel overwhelmed by all the things you have to do? For example, I find that when I am on auto-pilot, I tend to bump into things or drop things. When I am rushing around, my stomach is all tense and anxious and I can get upset about the silliest things.

3. Discover.
You have been noticing and getting curious about the thoughts rushing around your mind and the impact of those thoughts that take you away from the here and now. Indulge yourself in those ruminating thoughts. Embrace them. Sit and listen to your thoughts. Then take a pause. Take a deep breath in and out. Allow yourself to naturally discover that moment of living right here, right now in this present moment— this is mindfulness. We now have some light at the end of the tunnel but the effects on our well-being and mental health will no doubt be long lasting. We can use these techniques as we prepare to slowly return to our normal lives, and preparing for a different dynamic can lessen the shock and anxiety.

Heartwood Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy Training are
based at Dartington Space, Dartington Hall, Totnes.
Visit www.heartwoodcounselling.org or call 01803 865464.

The post Understanding self care appeared first on Reconnect Magazine.

To say 2020 was an unpredictable and unprecedented year for all of us is an understatement!
Although we are still adjusting to a ‘new normal’ and reacting to the latest lockdown announcement, we have a glimmer of hope that we didn’t have in the first lockdown with the promise of a mass vaccination rollout.
However, it is going to take us time to get to the light at the end of the tunnel, so we wanted to turn our attentions to how we can all look after our mental health and ensure our wellbeing in the coming months.
Firstly, it’s important to ‘check-in’, both with yourself and others, to establish how you and your loved ones are feeling. Although we may feel like seasoned veterans when it comes to staying at home, this is still new territory for everyone, so it is natural to find current circumstances stressful, overwhelming, lonely, even scary. You might see some benefit from talking. Everyone can benefit from talking with a trusted person, which may help you to understand what you are feeling. Maintaining relationships is trickier now we have to rely on the phone and video calls, but also very important for our mental health and wellbeing. During the early days of the first lockdown, the Office of National Statistics’ Opinions and Lifestyle Survey reported the equivalent of 7.4 million people said their wellbeing was affected through feeling lonely.
There are also a range of mental health charities on hand to offer support, details of some of these are available from the NHS at: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ stress-anxiety-depression/mentalhealth-helplines/
Tried and trusted steps we can take to maintain our physical wellbeing include eating healthily, drinking plenty of water, maintaining a regular sleep schedule and taking regular exercise. Under current lockdown restrictions, you can take exercise outdoors, but it should be limited to once a day and only in your area. The last lockdown inspired people to become creative with indoor exercise and there are plenty of online exercise videos, classes and resources to help you keep active at home. Again, the NHS offers a range of Fitness Studio exercise videos, which count towards the recommended guidelines for weekly physical activity. See: https://www.nhs.uk/ conditions/nhs-fitness-studio/
It’s worth noting that providing voluntary or charitable services are reasons to be able to leave home during lockdown (depending on the circumstances and organisation, volunteering can also happen from home). Charities and support services could benefit from volunteers now more than ever before, so this can be a rewarding way to spend any additional time you may have and help you feel part of a community, even if this is not in the physical sense.
Now life has altered for many of us, it might be helpful for you to think about your current routine. It’s important to include a balance of the useful tasks you need to keep on top of (such as housework) along with enjoyable hobbies or activities. As well as giving you a sense of control over your day-today life, ticking things off your ‘todo’ list will also give you a sense of accomplishment. You can also have fun and maintain cognitive skills with activities such as word puzzles, Sudoku, mobile games and jigsaws as cognitive skills wane with age. These are great ways to ‘train your brain’, along with exercise. People who have found themselves with additional time on their hands have even found learning a new skill or taking a course beneficial, giving them a chance to finally start something they have been wanting to learn for a long time, or enhance their existing skills. Most importantly, make sure to carve out some time for yourself, even if it’s just a mindful 10 minutes. The trick is to find any activities that nourish you, so you can maintain your health and wellbeing without it feeling like a chore.
It may yet be some time before restrictions can be significantly lifted and in some ways, this latest lockdown can make us feel we are back at stage one, so we need to remind ourselves that this new routine will not be forever. There are a number of positive things we can take away from this – such as seeing community spirit shine through and a chance to review and rethink our priorities.

We hope you stay safe and keep well.

Heartwood Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy Training are based at Dartington Space, Dartington Hall, Totnes. Visit www.heartwoodcounselling.org or call 01803 865464.

The post Looking after yourself in lockdown appeared first on Reconnect Magazine.