The good living and community magazine for Exeter, Plymouth and across South Devon

One of life’s great celebrations

Dec 24, 2018

MAGAZINE editors have to work several months ahead of the real calendar. Maybe that’s why Scott chose to feature green weddings over green Christmas trees this year.

YOU may have noticed I’ve made a bit of a departure from the usual subject matter of Reconnect this issue, with the introduction of a few pages on weddings. Regular readers will be aware that the seed of this new direction lies with my daughter, Zelah, whose own nuptials take place next year. I was surprised how consumerist weddings have become and assumed there was a wealth of green businesses out there in this area providing soon to be married couples with what they need for their big day. I have to admit that I contacted those I could find and offered them a chance to connect within this issue. In my head I imagined alternative celebrants providing an interesting piece on the ritual of handfasting, or perhaps a wedding caterer who espoused the virtues of vegan wedding fair, but not many replied to my offer. Obviously, I do realise that the greenest way to have a wedding is to DIY as much of it as possible and have friends or relatives provide everything from the cake, to the band, to the venue and the flowers. But, for some that’s not possible. Perhaps that shows that there’s an untapped gap in the market for ethical low impact wedding services in an industry that’s often all too commercial these days. Maybe we will do more on this in a future issue (same time next year?) and if you do know of people offering green sustainable wedding services ask them to get in touch. Happily I did get a few responses and I’m grateful to those who do feature who are here to provide the rings, the dress, the venue and the photography. I was always resolute I’d never get married; my parents divorced and it was a messy conclusion, with both parties and myself and my sister finding it a difficult thing to process. However, after nine years together we were blessed with the birth of our daughter and, once she went to school, my partner Karen lived with the fact that she was pulled up on her daughter’s surname not matching her own when a new member of staff was there when she collected Zelah from school. We had decided to put my name on the birth certificate. As Zelah got older, the idea of her being a big part of our wedding grew on me, and so we planned a wedding when she was seven, and she nearly burst with excitement as the day approached. Once the day arrived, I did wonder why we hadn’t done it sooner. It seemed to me at the time it was just one of those rare, special family get togethers – in jovial celebration rather than a funeral. Unfortunately my mother died before she got to see us tie the knot, but my father was there to join us on our big day before he too passed. A few weeks ago I attended another rare family get together, where offshoots of the family tree were in rare attendance to celebrate Karen’s uncle and aunt’s golden wedding. Also there was their granddaughter who had been about five or so at our wedding. I was touched and surprised that she remembered the day and a host of child minded details about it, now fifteen years later. She told me it was one of her earliest memories. Her saying that triggered a memory in me of going to a wedding when I was around the same age in the Pacific, held in the garden of a small woodenfloored, basic, airy white-painted house. I remember my first sight of adults doing ‘proper’ dancing and armfuls of flowers and a big feast cooked in the earth and wrapped in banana leaves. It was an event that had totally slipped my mind, and also probably one of my primal memories. I still remember my own wedding vividly, and the others I’ve been invited to. Reflecting on all this retrospection caused me to ask why these events are so cherished. The answer? Because these rituals are part of our community, and our souls do all love a bit of tradition! Which makes a great segue to another tradition; that of celebrating the solstice. Something, in this issue, I’ve actually featured less this year. No, that doesn’t mean I’m turning into Scrooge (this being self employed is unlikely to ever provide me his kind of wealth). Don’t think that means you all don’t get the annual reminder to please buy local, and not just at this time of year but all year around. Perhaps treat your friends, loved ones, colleagues (!) to the products and services we have been highlighting in these very pages. Talking of which, I really do want to thank each and every one of them, as well as the community groups, voluntary organisations, ethical businesses, food producers, art and craft makers, and anyone else who has contributed something in the last year to these pages. Give yourselves an extra mince pie for helping to create our sustainable, creative, caring and holistic community. Your contribution is very much appreciated by us all. All of us at Reconnect would also like to wish everyone in our community a very merry Christmas and our best wishes for a prosperous new year. southwesterlies… Scott