ONCE again, it seems as though we are facing another period of uncertainty as we mourn the loss of Queen Elizabeth II – a steady, comforting presence in our lives and prepare for the reign of King Charles III. We are seeing ever rising energy costs and an increase in the cost of living. Many of us are finding that our income isn’t going as far as it used to. This can be a huge source of anxiety and stress for many and it comes at a time when many of us are also bearing the burden of our children’s anxiety as they return for the autumn term, with many young people still struggling with the effects the Coronavirus pandemic had on their education and mental health. Hundreds of thousands of students this year also had the added pressure of receiving results after sitting exams for the first time since 2019*. With winter just around the corner and the nights drawing in, it seems an impossible task to ‘keep a stiff upper lip’ especially with the incessant stream of negative headlines. Whilst we were able to take away some small positives from the pandemic – the grit and determination to pull together during the most difficult times, time for reflection on the important things in life – it is hard to see what positivity we can draw from the imminent struggles many of us will face. I find myself overthinking every purchase, obsessing about where I can save money. I worry if it will impact my daughter; like any parent I want her to have nice things and partake in after school clubs. Money worries come with many negative feelings such as shame, embarrassment, hopelessness, powerlessness and these concerns can make us feel overwhelmed. Whilst these emotions are normal, it is important that we try to recognise and acknowledge these feelings of anxiety in a bid to feel more in control. One way we can do this, as recommended by Mental Health and Money Advice, is to practice Mindfulness. This involves us ‘being in the moment’, listening to what is on our mind and how it affects us. One of Heartwood’s tutors, Emily, shared the following steps to try:
1. Notice. Take notice of what’s on your mind. Throughout the day just pause to notice if you are in this present moment or if you have random thoughts running around your head.
2. Get curious. Next, get curious about the impact of those thoughts running around your head. What feelings do those thoughts about the past or future bring up in you? When you’re not really paying attention, what effect does that have on the people around you?
3. Discover. You have been noticing and getting curious about the thoughts rushing around your mind and the impact of those thoughts that take you away from the here and now. Allow yourself to indulge in those ruminating thoughts. Embrace them. Sit and listen to your thoughts.
Then take a pause. Take a deep breath in and out. Allow yourself to naturally discover that moment of living right here, right now in this present moment—this is mindfulness. Professor Mark Williams, former director of the Oxford Mindfulness says: “Mindfulness also allows us to become more aware of the stream of thoughts and feelings that we experience, and to see how we can become entangled in that stream in ways that are not helpful.” Also, the media can be guilty of fuelling negativity, instilling fear and compounding
feelings of worry – headlines seem to have a knack of giving us the worst possible case scenario. Limiting the amount of time we spend watching the news and on social media can help keep an objective mind, and focus on the ‘here and now’ rather than the ‘what ifs’. Another way to help ourselves de-stress is by trying to keep a clear home, getting a good night’s sleep, exercise (just getting outside can make the world of difference) and indulging in something that makes us happy, but most importantly we will realise that we are not alone, if we are able to talk to one another and share our concerns. There are services available for those who are struggling, including ‘Every Mind Matters’, an NHS resource full of ways to look after your mental health and wellbeing. We saw an overwhelming and heart-warming resilience across communities throughout the pandemic. If we are able to use the same strength and resolve, to face the next challenges together, I’m sure many will find comfort and strength. Heartwood extends its heartfelt condolences to the Royal Family, the country and beyond on the passing of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, who was such a constant in our lives and a figure of strength during many difficult times. WELLBEING *Source: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/ hundreds-of-thousands-of-students-set-to-receive-exam-results
Heartwood Centre for Counselling and
Psychotherapy Training are based at
Dartington Space, Dartington Hall, Totnes.
Visit www.heartwoodcounselling.org or call
01803 865464.